 Yesterday, I asked for help.
Actually, I ask for help quite regularly, but there are still some areas in which it feels awkward, or like I am an intrusion, or perhaps my ego gets in the way. Yesterday's ask was quite simple. I asked for some people to look at a new page on my website and to give me feedback on the look, the pricing (I sent samples), the copy, the images, etc. They responded with questions, ideas, and perspectives, and within 30 minutes I was able to re-work the page and get it ready for publication. It was simple, and easy. Yet, it's not always.
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 Do you know the story of Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess?
I am sure that many of you do. But do you know the story behind it? Dr. Seuss actually wrote it on a bet.  If someone asks you to introduce yourself, what do you typically say?
Do you start with your job title? The various roles you play in life (mom, sister, entrepreneur)? With what you're passionate about? About your favorite attributes? Next week I am starting a digital facilitation course through Howspace, and as part of the onboarding to the course we were invited to introduce ourselves. Before filling mine out, I glanced down at the other comments and was a bit shocked. Besides, saying where people live, not one person said anything about themselves personally. Not one person talked about things that they love or do outside of work.  I was not a child who daydreamed. Instead, my childhood was marked by pleasing, proving, and performing to be liked, admired, and accepted. I kept high marks because I was afraid not to. It was always go, go, go to succeed, succeed, succeed. From the time I was in high school, I felt a nagging deep inside me for something different, yet I didn't listen to the nag. I continued to push it aside. I was drawn in particular to my 2 volleyball coaches, who seemed to see and experience life differently. They didn't fit the mold, and they didn't care. They introduced me to Dan Millman's book The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and shared Native American teachings Yet it never seemed to stick.  Last night, when I got home I had several pieces of paper laid across my laptop on my desk.
"What are these?" I asked my husband. "You got a speeding ticket," he responded. OOPS, I hadn't even know.  Many of you may be familiar with the famous book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.
But what if that is the wrong message to be sending people? What if when we "feel the fear and do it anyway" we end up leaving behind our values and living outside our integrity? What if when we "feel the fear and do it anyway" we are modeling to our children that what everyone else thinks is brave is more important than what we individually think is brave?  Can joy be found in making mistakes?
This idea of finding fun and joy in making mistakes has been coming at my from multiple angles recently.  Yesterday, I lead an activity in a book circle that completely flopped.
In my head, it was going to be this magical exercise, where people had these intense revelations, and could see their gaps, so that could better mind, or manage them. It didn't work. It's no secret that the French are not the most innovative, and that some of their 'ways' date back to the 80s.
I still write checks, if you can believe it. I thought that Covid and the pandemic would have forced people's hands a bit, but a recent exchange gave me doubts. We were talking about boundaries.
Boundaries within our families. Boundaries at work. When is it 'appropriate' to set a boundary? When is it not? |
Hi there!I am Theresa Destrebecq (I dare you to try to pronounce it...) |
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