 After last month's open masterclass based on the book No Hard Feelings, one of my clients asked if I could host the same workshop for their organization internally.
Since I often don't do the same thing twice, I shifted the original design, to include some of the work of Erin Meyer in her book Culture Map to include this matrix of emotional expression and relationship to confrontation. Before the participants created this shared whiteboard, I first invited them to mark the three dots on their own, so that they wouldn't be swayed by the anchoring bias. Then we moved to the Miro.
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"Be Camera Ready"
I found out yesterday that one of my clients has this statement on all the invites for their sessions with me. I laughed when I heard about it. I learned about it because one of the women apologized for being in her workout clothes. I told her that I didn't care. What I did care about was the woman who joined late, during a silent activity, and started talking over the silence about how she wasn't in a place where she could engage, but wanted to just listen in.  When I was a rebellious teenager, my sister returned home from college and moved in with my parents.
I was adamant that I would never do the same. I swore that I would graduate from university with $10,000, giving myself the freedom to NOT move back home. When all my siblings told me I was crazy, that just fueled my desire. If you think back to the last 5 books you read/listened to, were they written by....
...mostly women. ...mostly men. Studies around this are quite interesting. Men typically have a ratio of 4 to 1 -- 4 male authors to 1 female author, and they tend to recommend more male authors to their friends/colleagues (male or female). Women have a more even ratio, and in general they recommend books along these same lines. I fall into this category myself. After my first monthly book-based workshop with Lucy Chambers in January, I am excited to be starting a book circle with a group of women at LGT Private Banking starting in April, on the same book Likeable Badass, by Alison Fragale. Throughout our several month journey together, we'll explore what it means to take ownership of our status and value in a more strategic way, despite the fact that the rules of the game may be rigged against us. I am excited to see how these women transform during our journey and exploration together! Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments. Read Deeper Not FasterPickleball has become a new passion.
If you don't know the game, it's a cross between tennis and badminton, played on a small court, with a plastic ball, and usually 2 players per team. My husband says it's a game for old people. He's partially correct. Having been an athlete my whole life, where I have pushed my body to its limits more than I can say, pickleball offers me an opportunity to engage in a competitive sport that doesn't hurt my knees or hips. After playing in December in my parent's retirement community, I decided I would give it a try closer to home. Now I am hooked - playing at least 3 times a week. I don't like being called a trainer, much less an expert.
Yes, I read a lot of books, but that doesn't make me an expert on the content within. And I wouldn't DARE come into your organization and tell you how to do your job better than you are already doing it, especially having never worked that job myself. Yet, companies still refer to my work as trainings, and still call me an SME. I cringe, every time.  For most of my life, I treated my emotions like a pesky toddler by ignoring their pull, their whine, and their incessant need for my attention.
I was always told that I was "too sensitive" so I imagined that by pretending that I had no emotions, I could fit into other's expectations of me. It didn't work. Eventually, those bottled up emotions would shoot out like a shaken champagne bottle, getting everyone soaked. I was labeled "histrionic" by colleagues. Now, I see another way.  It's almost time for another book-based workshop, this time in collaboration with Antonia Silvaggi! We'll be exploring the book No Hard Feelings by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy, specifically focusing on the full emotional landscape that can arise while working. Emotions are a part of being human. Which means emotions BELONG at work. During our 90 minutes, we'll be : 😬 Exploring our emotional expression habits or tendencies 🗺️ Mapping what emotions show up where, when and with whom to build self-awareness and uncover potential blind spots 😎 Engaging in an improvisational theater exercise to gain perspective and have some fun 💡 Reflect on how emotional contagion is affecting you and those you work with ✏️ Writing emotional permission slips for ourselves, giving ourselves freedom to work fully self - expressed Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments. Read Deeper Not FasterI am a pretty stubborn person.
I am also often overly optimistic. If you put those two together, and add a toxic boss to the mix, guess what comes out? BIG EMOTIONS AT WORK! The emotions started early. I remember sitting in a bar talking to the man who held my position before I was transferred. |
Hi there!I am Theresa Destrebecq. |
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