 One of my most loved jobs was being a server at a diner in Boston when I was in graduate school.
The energy. The people. The dopamine hit from a generous tip, resulting from my great service. My superpower lay in the fact that I didn't write anything down. Sometimes I would make bets with my tables - If I made a mistake on their order, they didn't have to tip me. If I didn't, they had to give me even more :)
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 What you see above 👆 is a moment of frustration.
Do you see it? Frankly, I don't see it either. But on the backside, you can see a few words indicating what I was annoyed about at the time. This technique, inspired by therapist Pavel Piskarev, allows me to transform annoyances into art, using a piece of paper, a pen, and whatever else I have on hand. Piskarev says that all problems are born from the logical mind, and that the solution can often be accessed through the creative mind. You probably disagree.
You might even have a long list of "bad" books to share with me. I invite you to hear me out. In today's day and age, we often turn to professional development books to give us a formula. A formula to be a better leader. A checklist for giving great feedback. A hack to ensure our team is more engaged.  When I first took the Myers-Briggs test, I came out as an extrovert, clear as day.
My husband disagreed. He knows all the times when I have skipped a party or event in preference for a quiet night at home with a book. Cain points out in her book that our society has created a mistaken hierarchy between extroversion and introversion, where extroverts seem to come out on top, with introverts inevitably coming in second place. Earlier this week, I was working with a group around how to create processes that lead to true collective intelligence.  Yesterday, I had surgery to remove an interductal papilloma in one of my breasts (a benign tumor).
Leading up to it, was all brave face, "no big deal." Until I got some paperwork that said "partial mastectomy" and I started to freak out a bit. In that moment, I asked myself, what do I want from this day? What can support look like from other people?  We live in a polarized world.
We live in a world where we are often forced to take a side. As a result, it's easy to put people into boxes. Yet, when we put people into boxes, it's often all we see. We forget to see the humanity inside that box. Coates' book is controversial because it's about oppression.  "The opposite of work isn't play. It's depression.” According to Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Play Institute, there are 8 different "play personalities" that we can engage in, and over time, we home in on a couple as adults.
They are:
I recently changed hairdressers.
She did a great job (see me new profile pic.) Yet, like all hairdressers, she tried to convince me to add highlights. "It will make you more luminous," she said. "It will cover your gray," she added. When you see me on Zoom, you can't see the gray. But it's there - at my temples, just like some of those sexy men people love. Yet, on me, the world doesn't find it sexy. If you saw my post yesterday, you'll know that I stepped out of my norm and hosted a large group masterclass for one of my clients.
What I didn't mention is that half the people left. Yes, half. We were at 159 participants, and by the end we were down to 80. I don't host large group online sessions.
It seems too impersonal for me. Personal connection gives me energy. I was happily proven wrong earlier this afternoon. At the request of one of my clients, rather than hosting a book circle with less than 20 people, she asked me to do a large group masterclass. She was expecting between 100 and 200 people. Ugh! |
Hi there!I am Theresa Destrebecq. |
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