My daughter: "Can I have a piece of your pear?"
My son: "No."
My daughter: "You know, sharing is caring."
My son: "Still no."
It happened to be the last pear in the fruit bowl, and my son didn't want to give up even a bite of it.
And frankly, I didn't think he had to.
Yet this phrase, "Sharing is Caring" is one that I hear so often in the parent circles that I am a part of, and has become such a part of our cultural norms.
It's almost used as a verbal stick, or as a means of manipulating another to give up what they want, for what you want instead.
Later in the morning, my Yogi Tea message was, "Make others happy, to make yourself happy."
For me, it's a BIG FAT LIE.
Right now, I am in the midst of two book circles with two different organizations, where we are exploring a range of topics, including PEOPLE-PLEASING.
For me, people pleasing isn't about kindness, it's about searching for our self-worth in the eyes of another.
Of course, I want my children to share when they are feeling generous, and at the same time, I understand the desire NOT to share when things feel limited and scarce.
So when is sharing truly kind, versus people-pleasing?
Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.
Read Deeper Not Faster
I am Theresa Destrebecq.