My former self use to pride itself on my achievements. I got a thrill from RISING.
Whether it be making the varsity volleyball team as a Sophomore, or getting an award for this or that, my dopamine levels would kick in, and I would know that I was worthy because I had the evidence to prove it.
Achievement = Worthiness. (The LIE that I told myself.)
Rewind backwards, to about 34 years old.
I had RISEN to a great job.
All my hard work had paid off.
All my achievements landed me that 6-figure income that I KNEW would make it all better.
I had arrived.
The only problem was that I couldn't achieve in one particular area that was so important to me -- being a mother.
"So, when are you having kids?" people would ask.
My sister-in-law even made the dreaded, "You're not getting any younger" comment to me one summer.
What they didn't know, was that I was "trying" (with regularity, I might add), but it wasn't working.
For someone whose life had been built on the idea that hard work leads to results, I was at a loss.
When I finally did get pregnant, I had a miscarriage.
Then, I got pushed off the RISE.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Once my resentment and bitterness subsided, I knew that I needed to give up the idea that my worthiness was attached to hard work, to a specific title, and to a cushy salary.
Without knowing it, my body had been whispering to me the whole time, "Get off the RISE."
Today, I have two beautiful children.
I own a business where there is nowhere to RISE to.
I moved to a country where RISING isn't such a prominent part of the culture.
Yesterday, I was putting together a book list for a women's circle, and hesitated over adding the book, How Women Rise by Sally Helgesson and Marshall Goldsmith, which talks about the 12 habits that women must let go of in order to RISE within a corporate environment.
I asked myself:
In the end, I added the book because who am I to prevent others from RISING.
The RISE ended up not being for me, but it might be for you.
Who am I to judge your journey?
Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.
Read Deeper Not Faster
I am Theresa Destrebecq.