Yesterday, my daughter was taking forever to get ready for school.
This was wrong.
That was wrong.
She didn't like the toothpaste.
She didn't want to carpool.
Her backpack was too heavy.
Sometimes her excuses are valid.
Most times they are not.
She is often hiding something underneath.
Some worry or stress is waiting to come out.
Waiting to be acknowledged.
If I am willing to stay curious a little longer, I can often pinpoint the real issue.
Despite being trained as a coach a decade ago, I still don't always use the skills in the right context.
Sometimes I do more telling than coaching.
Sometimes I do more coaching than conversing.
My daughter doesn't like to be told what to do.
My husband doesn't like to be coached.
Yet, when we think in terms of curiosity rather than coaching, we can help people see what they might not see themselves.
In 📚 Michael Bungay Stanier,'s book The Coaching Habit he shares what he considered the 7 essential questions that everyone can use to stay curious a little longer.
They are also reiterated in his second book The Advice Trap which I am reading with our leadership book circles.
Is there anyone in your life that could use a bit more of your curiosity, and a bit less of your advice?
P.S. Probably all roads could have led back to #2, but it was getting a bit messy with all the arrows.
Originally posted on LinkedIn
Read Deeper Not Faster
I am Theresa Destrebecq (I dare you to try to pronounce it...)