Saying No To Others, And Saying Yes To You

Although, I don't do much 1:1 coaching anymore, from time to time I do pick up clients through my book circle work.

One of my coaching clients is struggling with saying YES to too much, and she doesn't know how to decide what to let go of.

Yesterday, I shared with her a personal practice, that I do at least twice a year. Sometimes I do a shortened version if I am feeling "too much."

1) I make a list of all my activities or proposed activities.
2) I bring each to mind and ask myself, "On a scale of 1-10, how much energy does this give me?"
3) I mark down the score and move to the next one. No analysis or "shoulding." Just intuition.
4) When I have gone through all the activities, I look at the lowest scores (anything lower than 7) and ask myself a series of questions:

• Does this activity serve a higher purpose or is it attached to a longer term vision? 
• Can I keep the activity but change my relationship to it?
• What needs is this activity filling? (By need, I mean things like peace, meaning, love, etc.) Needs are abstract.
• Do boundaries need to be set with anyone else involved in this activity, in order for me to feel more energized about it?
• Are there any deeper fears that are preventing me from dropping this activity (or person)?

Based on that self-reflection, I am usually ready to drop at least one, if not more than one activity.

Resentment is my sign that I am in overwhelm and that I am taking on too much.

It happened recently, when school started back up again, and I went from almost ZERO WhatsApp messages, to 100-200 per day.

As a result of my self-check in, not only did I drop several WhatsApp groups, but I also dropped the launch of a second podcast, and scaled back on a few other commitments as well.

The goal in dropping an activity, isn't necessarily so that I can create space for another, but so that I can create space to BE MORE.

The tagline of my company is "READ DEEPER NOT FASTER" and I think it works just as well if you swap out the "read" for "live"

LIVE DEEPER NOT FASTER

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

Read Deeper Not Faster