Monsters In The Mail

Next week, I am partnering up with Nadia von Holzen to lead a session for the NeverDoneBefore community.

The focus is on books (obviously) and our monthly theme - Integrity and Authenticity.

All the participants will bring a book, a chapter of a book, or even a short passage that aligns with this theme, and from there, Nadia and I have a plan to bring spice into their 90 minutes with various creative and engaged activities.

When I think of my own book, it will probably be The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck. If you haven't read the book, it's a must-read if you ever find yourself in the "dark wood of error" unable to find your way back to integrity.

As an example, here's an abbreviated version of one of the exercises in the book (yes, there are exercises):

STEP ONE:
Pick a controversial issue that you really care about and have a strong opinion about. One where you know there are people on the opposite side as you.

STEP TWO:
Focus on the people you disagree with. Imagine them making a stand against your firmly held beliefs. Perhaps you already have a name for them. For the sake of the exercise, we'll call them 'monsters.'

STEP THREE:
Let your blood boil and really feel into the anger and outrage that you have against these "other" people.

STEP FOUR:
Write them a letter, tell them all the things you don't like about them, the things that you think they do/ wrong, how the world is worse off because of them, etc. etc.

STEP FIVE:
Imagine you go to the mailbox and open it to find a letter addressed to you. Low and behold, it says the very same things that you just said to these monsters.
Actually read the letter and notice what happens in your mind, body, and heart.

• Would you like to cooperate with this person?
• Do you feel that this stranger really knows you?
• Do you feel your heart opening, or shutting down?
• How does this align with your values and your sense of integrity?

This exercise reminds me of the work of Don Miguel Ruiz in his book "The Four Agreements." The first of the agreements is to be "impeccable with your word."

Another great book about integrity and authenticity.

Do you have a favorite book about integrity and authenticity?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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Read Deeper Not Faster

Hi, I'm Theresa.
I combine my passion for book learning, community building, and personal leadership to bring employees together for generative conversations and experiential learning through books.