8 Reasons We Don't Ask for Help
Yesterday, I asked for help.
Actually, I ask for help quite regularly, but there are still some areas in which it feels awkward, or like I am an intrusion, or perhaps my ego gets in the way.
Yesterday's ask was quite simple.
I asked for some people to look at a new page on my website and to give me feedback on the look, the pricing (I sent samples), the copy, the images, etc.
They responded with questions, ideas, and perspectives, and within 30 minutes I was able to re-work the page and get it ready for publication.
It was simple, and easy.
Yet, it's not always.
HIn Wayne Baker's book All You Have to Do Is Ask he references the 8 reasons why we don't ask for help (and thus limit our growth and potential.)
#1: We underestimate other people's willingness and ability to help.
#2: We over-rely on self-reliance.
#3: We perceive there to be social costs of seeking help.
#4: Our work culture lacks psychological safety.
#5: The systems, procedures, or structure of our organization get in the way.
#6: We don't know what to request or how to request it.
#7: We worry we haven't earned the privilege of asking for help.
#8: We fear seeming selfish.
Yesterday's ask was easy because none of these 8 factors got in my way.
Yet, there is another ask I have been mulling over for the last few weeks, and I haven't yet gotten around to making the request.
It would take the other person less than 5 minutes to respond to my email, yet I haven't asked.
It's #3 and #7 above that are getting in my way.
I have this niggling "What will they think?" going on in the back of my head.
I also wonder if we are connected enough that I have "earned" the right to ask.
Baker writes, "Asking for advice says you are confident. It conveys wisdom (you know what you don't know, and you know when to ask.) And it says you are willing to take risks."
Today, I will show my confidence, wisdom, and willingness to take a risk by making the request.
Are you willing to do the same?
Originally posted on LinkedIn. Head there to read the comments.
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I am Theresa Destrebecq (I dare you to try to pronounce it...)