WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY : Unlearning Silence by Elaine Lin Hering

Those that know me know that I am a quick thinker and a quick talker.

Yet, over the years I have learned more and more about the importance of silence, especially as a facilitator.

My job is to hold the space, not fill it with my opinion.

What I appreciate about Elaine Lin Hering's work are the multiple layers that go into how we unlearn silence, and how we unlearn the myriad of ways that we silence others.

There is the silence that we learned early on from our parents, and that we unconsciously perpetuate as parents when we stop responding to the 30th "Why" from our child.

There is the silence that we learned from our teachers, who prized the quiet, diligent workers, and who held back the entire class as a global punishment for the few chatty ones. (This happens regularly in my daughter's class.)

There is the silence that we learn from our overall culture, who prizes the words of some over the ideas of others.

Silence is a virtue, right?

There is the silence that we learn in meetings, when we do speak our ideas, but they aren't honored, or given space for, or they are stolen by a colleague.

Overtime, silence has become the answer for many of us.

It's a way to self-protect.
It's a way to respond to conflict or controversy.
It's a way to keep our jobs.
It's a way to keep the peace.

In a recent book circle, we talked about silence and voice, and the various context in which we are comfortable giving voice, and the space and places where we tend to stay silent.

There are definitely space where silence is essential for some, and we must honor that.

There are other spaces, where our fear of speaking up prevents us from creating real change.

Is there a right moment to move from silence to voice?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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