WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY : Unbound : A Women's Guide to Power by Kasia Urbaniak

Yesterday, I had surgery to remove an interductal papilloma in one of my breasts (a benign tumor).

Leading up to it, was all brave face, "no big deal."

Until I got some paperwork that said "partial mastectomy" and I started to freak out a bit.

In that moment, I asked myself, what do I want from this day?
What can support look like from other people?

I knew that if I didn't tell people about the procedure, and ask for their support, I would come out the other side resentful and wondering, "Why didn't anyone call me to check on me?"

Instead, I tapped into what I truly wanted and ASKED for it.
And I got just what I needed and wanted.

In Kasia Urbaniak's book she takes the reader through several stages of finding their voice and finding their power.

Some of them are to:

1) Connect with your inner rage and give voice to all the things unsaid in your life.
2) Get clear about what conversations you are NOT having in your life, that are often connected to this inner rage.
3) Bring to mind your true desires and find a sense of legitimacy in your wanting.
4) Connect these desires to an ask. I could ask _______ for _________.
5) Understand where the resistance lies in your asking. What are you worried about?
6) Role-play with a partner, turning up the volume on exactly what you are afraid of. By leaning into the edges, we can find our middle.
7) Inoculate yourself against a no with practice, practice, practice.
8) Make the powerful ask, and if there is a no, investigate the no with curiosity. By saying no to you, what are they saying yes to in themselves?

I didn't go through all of these steps in the lead up to my surgery, but reading this book reminded me of all the small and big ways that I don't ask.

So I asked, and received a bounty -- a love shower, if you will.

Urbaniak reminds us that, "The right ask can transform a relationship."

Do you have something you want to ask for?

P.S. The author does come to this book as a former dominatrix, and I personally had to move past some of the language, to find the golden nuggets within.

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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