WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY : Talk To Me Nice by Minda Harts.

When I left my last traditional job in 2012, I didn't trust my manager, I didn't trust HR, and I wasn't sure if I even trusted myself anymore.

This is my 3rd book by Minda Harts, and one that I think is universal for all, and especially relevant for HR and leaders.

Taking a script from Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, Minda Harts has broken down trust into 7 languages, where we may connect with 1 or more over others.

No. 1 - SENSITIVITY
Are you actually paying attention to the needs of the people you work with? Do you see, sense and empathize with what they need to bring their full self to work, or are you creating a cookie cutter system, full of biases and discrimination?

No. 2 - TRANSPARENCY
Uncertainty is the norm these days, so let's bring certainty when and where we can. Communicate about your process, not just the decision you've made. Clarity builds confidence and prevents misunderstanding, and trust comes along for the ride

No. 3 - SECURITY
I was taught how to bully others when I became a leader (yep, you read that right). It was standard practice to use fear as a means to force people out. Fear does not build or maintain trust. People need to know they can speak up, make mistakes, and be their full selves without fear.

No. 4 - DEMONSTRATION
"Show, don't tell." Your words must meet your actions. If not, that gap is full of DIS-trust. If your company stands for something, let it stand for it, throughout all the systems and processes. You can't say you're fighting climate change, while also being the biggest polluter on the planet.

No. 5 - FEEDBACK
Connected to transparency, people need to know where they stand with you. The worst kind of feedback is the feedback you hear too late, or through office gossip. Be bold enough to tell the truth. As Brené Brown says, "Clear is kind."

No. 6 - ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
If you want someone to feel connected to their work for 3 weeks max, give them an annual bonus. If you want them to feel connected to their work all year long, give them regular, specific recognition and acknowledgement.

No. 7 -- FOLLOW-THROUGH
Like demonstration, follow-through is more on the individual level, than on the systemic one. If you say you're going to do something, do it, and if you can't, be transparent about what's changed. Reliability and consistency earn trust.

I don't think that I will ever go back to a traditional work space.

Why not?

Because I have been betrayed in that environment one too many times.

If I do ever go back, I want to have clarity up front with the people I work with around our various trust languages.

👉Which one of these 7 stand out most to you?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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