WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY : Shatterproof by Tasha Eurich

It was the middle of the pandemic.
We were temporarily out of lockdown, not sure when we would return.

Uncertainty and chaos were the new normal.
I was beyond exhausted.

My husband and I were juggling our work with home-schooling/entertaining a 6 and 4-year-old, and I was the sitting president on the board of a professional women's network.

I was in the midst of pivoting my business from 1:1 coaching to leading book circles within organizations.

My husband had just gotten news of a major contract being postponed -- one worth lots of money.

Not only were we physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but it seemed like we'd be financially drained soon enough.

As we settled into our board meeting, I wanted to give space for everyone to share how they were doing -- really doing.

When it came back to me, I was ready to move on, but someone said, "What about you, Theresa? How are you doing?"

That's when I burst into tears.
And it didn't stop at tears.
I let loose all the anger, frustration, and pent-up emotions.
The direction went one way -- directly at the team.

I finger pointed.
I blamed.

It was a volcanic eruption of everything I had been trying to suppress.

When I let it all out, I tried to excuse myself and let them continue on without me. They wouldn't have it.

As is the English thing to do, I was given a cup of tea, and a smile.

I had shattered.
Publicly.

As I read Tasha Eurich's book right now, I can see myself in its pages with the utmost clarity.

I had been relying so heavily on my strength and my resilience, and in the end it hadn't been enough.

Like a rubber band that's stretched too much, I eventually broke.

On top of that, I was also engaging in "Grit Gaslighting" -- continually chastising myself for not being gritty enough to get myself through.

My internal belief that "What didn't kill me made me stronger" was a lie.

What's crazy, though, is that even after this meltdown, I still carried on as president for a while. I tried to recover, but my reputation never did, and I eventually had to look the truth in the eye, and resign.

There are women in that room who still won't speak to me.

Tasha Eurich's book reminds us that resilience will only get us so far, and that it's a non-renewable resource. It's only meant to get us through short spurts of a challenge, not the constant demands of our chaotic world.

Instead, Eurich invites us to go beyond resilience, and to become shatterproof.

Our old ways of coping aren't working anymore.
We need new ways to adapt, and thrive, not just survive.

I'll leave you to the book to discover the rest.

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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