WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY : Secure Relating by Sue Marriott and Anne Kelley

I have been to therapy on 4 different occasions during my life.

The first time was when I was a teenager, and had convinced myself that I wasn't attractive, so I might as well be skinny -- thus either starving myself or shoving my fingers down my throat to purge. My parent's suspicions were confirmed after a trip to the dentist.

The second time came when I was in my early 20's living on my own, and I realized things didn't sit right, and I needed to resolve some stuff from my childhood.

The third time was after I said "Yes" to my first marriage proposal, but suggested that we go to couple's therapy before we tied the knot to make sure that we were a good fit. (We weren't, and my request for therapy was a big red flag.)

The fourth time was during my "bad boss" experience, and I needed an objective ear to help me decide what to do. (I eventually resigned.)

To this day, I still work with other helping professionals, even if on an infrequent basis.

Despite all the work, I still don't always securely relate, or manage my emotions well.

Yesterday, I was explaining to someone that I have had to undergo a massive mindset shift when it comes to anything self-helpy.

There was a time when I engaged in all the therapy, coaching, personal growth book-reading because I thought I was broken, and that all this work could help fill a hole inside of me.

Now, I don't see myself as needing fixing.

At the same time, I also know that I can be a better human.

This book will help me to do that.

Be a better mom and partner.
Be a better friend and family member.
Be a better facilitator and coach.
Be a better stranger to the other strangers that irritate me along the way.

We live in a world of other insecure, and imperfect human beings, and we need each other, even when we don't want to need anything.

How can I be secure with all the insecurities in our world?
How can you?
Can we ever be secure in our relating?

I wonder if the title, "Securer Relating" would be better. (It doesn't sound as good, though.)

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.
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