WHAT I'M READING WEDNESDAY: Me, But Better by Olga Khazan

I've changed since I was younger, and even changed over the last decade.

Part of that has to do with moving countries.
Part of that has to do with becoming a parent.

But have I changed my personality?
Can one change their personality?

That's what Olga Khazan explores in her book Me, But Better.

Using one of the few (or only) personality assessments with scientific validity (unlike the Myers-Briggs), Khazan goes on a self-experimental adventure to see if she could shift herself on the 5 markers of the test.

✅ OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE
✅ CONSCIENTIOUSNESS
✅ EXTROVERSION
✅ AGREEABLENESS
✅ NEUROTICISM

Specifically, Khazan was looking to shift her sense of openness, neuroticism, and agreeableness.

Through small experiments, she was able to shift all three.

I was curious about the test myself, so I decided to take it.

It wasn't surprising, but I don't necessarily agree with its findings.

For example, I came up extremely high on extroversion, but in fact, I have become less and less extroverted as I have gotten older. As a parent, I crave quiet time by myself where I am not with other people, nor do I have children nagging me for something.

In addition, my level of openness to experiences was average, which I don't agree with. The test says, "People who are high in openness tend to love art, music, and literature." Perhaps I was too overly skeptical about the world "love."

I draw all the time, listen to music, and read books non-stop. If you give me the choice of being outside in nature or exploring a new city and doing art, I would choose the former. So I didn't rate myself as "loving" art, music and literature.

I also have become less of tidy and conscientious as a parent. I have become more open to messiness, so that I don't have to be a nag all the time.

Is that more agreeableness, or less conscientiousness?

It's one of the reasons that I am not a fan of personality tests. I think that they can misdiagnose us, in some ways. How we interpret a question can change our results.

That being said, I think that's more of an issue with the test, than with the book.

I enjoyed reading about Olga's adventures as she tried to shift her sense of self.

She took the personality assessment through her experiments, and found that she did shift things.

Are there things that I would like to shift about how I am?
Not really.

I could probably be a better listener at home?
And not get into political debates with certain family members.

But overall, I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming.

👉 Are there parts of your personality that you'd like to change?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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