I am a great listener, and I am a terrible listener. It 100% depends on the context in which I am in, and the subject at hand. Right now, I am leading 2 book circles, with 2 different companies on the book Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg, and decided to listen to another book that could provide additional insights to compliment the work we would be doing. I am so glad that I did. At the very beginning, Vengoechea talks about how when we see or experience a communication breakdown, we believe that we need to speak more clearly, but that is often a false belief. What we really need to do is listen better. This coincides directly with Duhigg's advice to listen for what kind of conversation we are having -- a practical conversation, a social conversation, or an emotional one. Alongside this idea of listening better, Vengeoechea outlines the various ways that we tend to listen -- she calls them our default listening modes. 💚 The Explainer - have an answer for everything 🩷 The Validator - will beat up that person you are talking about 💛 The Identifier - the one-upper, who steals the spotlight 💜 The Problem Solver - full of advice for what you should do 💙 The Nurse - is willing to sacrifice themselves for you to help you "heal" ❤️ The Defuser - always downplays things, often with jokes 🩵 The Mediator - gives perspective and sees things from all sides 🖤 The Empath - takes on your pain as their own 🧡 The Interrupter - thinks they know what you're going to say before you say it 🩶 The Interviewer - full of questions, and perhaps curious, but it's too much 🤍 The Daydreamer - they might be there, but they sure aren't listening As I said above, I can be a great listener and a terrible one. There are some contexts in which I fall into "explainer" mode, and others where I fall into "interviewer." Still others I can be the "problem solver." The key is self-awareness, and reading the situation to know what kind of listening is needed for each situation. Sometimes we need to go so far as to ask our speaking partner what kind of listener they need. ⭐️ What do you think your default listening mode is? 💡 Which of the default listening modes is most annoying for you to speak to? Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments. Read Deeper Not Faster
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Hi there!I am Theresa Destrebecq. |