Unintended Exclusion

Pickleball has become a new passion.

If you don't know the game, it's a cross between tennis and badminton, played on a small court, with a plastic ball, and usually 2 players per team.

My husband says it's a game for old people.

He's partially correct.

Having been an athlete my whole life, where I have pushed my body to its limits more than I can say, pickleball offers me an opportunity to engage in a competitive sport that doesn't hurt my knees or hips.

After playing in December in my parent's retirement community, I decided I would give it a try closer to home.

Now I am hooked - playing at least 3 times a week.

I even played in my first tournament on Sunday.

And bought a fancy racket.

Yesterday, though, I realized that our little pickleball community had become exclusionary.

In speaking with my former neighbor, she mentioned that she wanted to play more, but couldn't understand anything that was happening in the community WhatsApp group.

Why?

Because everyone was written in English.

Not only were there too many messages, but by the time she translated them from English to French, someone else had already taken up the open spot to play.

She felt left out. Excluded.

Today, I talked to the tennis pro about it, and she fully agreed. As a French person herself, she also said she didn't understand all of what was going on, even though she was the one that started the group and managed the courts.

I spoke with some others in the community, and we made a decision on the spot -- everyone starts writing in the chat in English and French, or French only.

We live in France, after all.

Too often in our work lives, we aren't aware of how we unintentionally exclude others, despite many of us being painfully excluded ourselves at some point.

As part of my work with the book "Supercommunicators," next week I will be diving into this idea of exclusion with a team, asking them to describe moments when they felt excluded on the team, and moments when they excluded others, and wish they had done something differently.

It will be a hard conversation, but one that will ultimately bring the team closer.

When was the last time you felt excluded?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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