The Beauty And The Pain Of Being Art

I can look at a piece of art and see something beautiful.

I can also look at a piece of art, and have absolutely NO connection to it -- thinking my children could have done it better.

Now, imagine being a piece of art yourself.

This was one of the activities during my facilitation retreat this past weekend.

Our facilitator selves were the art, with a poster description, much like the small plaques next to a piece of art, and the other participants were the "museum visitors."

Our description included:

• Facilitator Start Date
• Process
• Clients
• Uncompromisbable Values
• Growing Edge
• Style

In turns, we stood in a hallway holding up our description, while "museum visitors" came by to examine the art.

💬 Some chatted and verbally gave their impressions.

💜 Others left heart stickers for things they connected with or liked.

✏️ And others, wrote questions or comments on post-its.

⭐️ It was both enriching and left me feeling totally exposed.

One comment in particular left a crack in my confidence.

As part of my "style" as a facilitator, I wrote that I considered myself to be warm. I believe that I have a relaxed style, and through the years of facilitating, I am often told that people feel safe around me, and that I am non-threatening.

Yet, one "museum visitor" added a post-it to my description saying: "It's hard for me to imagine you warm."

Despite us being only 19 at the retreat, the comment came from someone I had barely spoken to.

During our next break, I decided to ask him about it. (He left his name.)

The conversation included 2 other words that don't align with my perception of myself -- serious and scary.

What's interesting is that I had barely shared more than a few sentences with this fellow participant.

Yet, from his simple observations of my comings and goings, he had put me in a box, and labelled me as COLD.

Right now, I am facilitating a group of women through the book Likeable Badass where we are exploring how women, in particular, are put in boxes as either warm or cold.

My experience was no different.

I could have spent the rest of the weekend ruminating on the injustice of his assessment of me and written him off as an asshole, or I could have leaned into it and shared my full self with him.

I did the latter.

Not in a strategic, manipulative way, but by letting him see me.

I sat next to him at dinner that night, and spent a good 2 1/2 hours with him, sharing stories and ideas.

When I saw him the next morning after my run he said, "I am really glad I met you."

A full 180-degree turn from his first impression.

In our work with Likeable Badass , the book invites us to take a more active role in how others perceive us.

We need to be the author of the stories that others share about us.

💬 What part of your story do you want people to know about?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.
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