Inside this little square is a list of people whose opinion of me matters. It only has a handful of names -- including my own. I made this list over a decade ago after taking an online course with Brené Brown. Today I have a slightly different list. The names have shifted, but there is still only a handful. Even though it's a short list, that doesn't mean that these are the ONLY people whom I go to for advice or feedback.
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Like most of you, I too have a long to-do list in order to deliver the best value that I can to my clients.
This week is a slow client-facing week, so my to-do list consists mostly of independent prep work - writing reflection questions, creating sketch notes to summarize the key ideas in our reading, designing book circle sessions for next week, etc. Usually, I put on my headphones and rock out while I get it all done. This morning, I did something different. Tomorrow I'll be diving into the book Hidden Potential by Adam Grant with a small group of leaders.
As part of the work, we'll be taking his idea of "sources of trust" and turning it into an exercise, where we actually look at the people in our lives who are giving us advice and feedback, and where they fit within the circles. I invite you to do these same. It's the last week, and perhaps the last days before many of us take some time off for the holidays.
I had 2 book circles scheduled today, yet when I read through the emails from people saying that they couldn't attend, I realized that having a book circle today wasn't the best choice. I decided to postpone today's content session, and add another session in February at the end. I was still there today to hold space for those who could make it or needed it. In my email about the change, I used the term "executive decision." My daughter: "Can I have a piece of your pear?"
My son: "No." My daughter: "You know, sharing is caring." My son: "Still no." It happened to be the last pear in the fruit bowl, and my son didn't want to give up even a bite of it. And frankly, I didn't think he had to. Yet this phrase, "Sharing is Caring" is one that I hear so often in the parent circles that I am a part of, and has become such a part of our cultural norms. Most of us have heard of Pareto's Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule.
If not, it states that 80% of consequences come from 20% of the causes. Did you know that there's another 80/20 rule? Here's how it plays out.... "Ideas without action aren’t ideas. They’re regrets." - Jeff Haden, author The Motivation Myth So you've got ideas of what to do, maybe they're your ideas, your bosses ideas, or some other societal idea that you think you "should" follow through on. Yet you're not following through. Yesterday, we explored MOTIVATION, as part of our journey to read deeply together. We spent some time talking about the need to celebrate small victories, so we could get that good dopamine release, which would then fuel the motivation, and lead back to another victory. And so the cycle continues. This is a Christmas present for a homeless person - a girl between the ages of 5 and 9.
I just filled up the box with its assorted materials last night. I turned it in this morning. Today was the last collection day. I have had the box for ONE MONTH. Yes, I waited until the very last minute to complete the task. Was it procrastination, or was it Parkinson's law? According to many psychologists, the foundation of procrastination is fear, or anxiety about a future unknown outcome. Although, I don't do much 1:1 coaching anymore, from time to time I do pick up clients through my book circle work.
One of my coaching clients is struggling with saying YES to too much, and she doesn't know how to decide what to let go of. Yesterday, I shared with her a personal practice, that I do at least twice a year. Sometimes I do a shortened version if I am feeling "too much." 1) I make a list of all my activities or proposed activities. 2) I bring each to mind and ask myself, "On a scale of 1-10, how much energy does this give me?" 3) I mark down the score and move to the next one. No analysis or "shoulding." Just intuition. 4) When I have gone through all the activities, I look at the lowest scores (anything lower than 7) and ask myself a series of questions: I have never considered myself very artistic.
When I was in college, I had a mandatory fine arts requirement, that I fulfilled the last semester of my senior year at university. My boyfriend, at the time, was also in the class, and I couldn't help but feel a bit of an imposter next to his amazing sketches. Yet, in the end, I found that I could actually draw - I just couldn't draw from my head. I needed a model (not necessarily a nude one.) Over the years, I have also come to realize that creativity isn't just about art, and that we all have the capability to create, if we allow ourselves to. |
Hi there!I am Theresa Destrebecq. |