Middle Schoolers Can Eat You Alive

My very first job out of graduate school was teaching at an all-boys middle school in Boston.

My previous teaching experience was at the high school level, and I wasn't prepared for what middle school boys would bring me.

One on one, these boys were charming and kind.
Together they could be cruel -- and were cruel.

They could eat you alive.

This is when and where I had to solidify my presence -- not just as a teacher, but also as a woman.

From my presence, came my power.
Not power over, but power to.

Without that presence and that power, I fear that my tenure at the school would have been very short-lived. My teaching partner didn't last.

If I were to last, I knew that it had to come from me.

I had to rise above their pettiness.
I had to be firm and fair.
I had to share my power, which felt both risky and naive.
I had to face the doubts and concerns about my teaching methods from the headmaster.

I was reminded of the connection between presence and power by the leadership coach and author Kemi Nekvapil, in her book Power: A Woman's Guide to Living and Leading Without Apology.

If you haven't read it, I encourage you to do so.

Presence is just one component of power, but a foundational one.

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

Read Deeper Not Faster