I Am Not A Girl, I Am A Woman

In the French language, whether you are a girl or a woman, to many you will always be a "fille" (girl).

Earlier this morning, I was talking to a friend of mine, and he referenced a "girl" in my town who has the same dog that he has.

In my head, I pictured someone the age of my daughter, who's 10 - a girl.

Yet, that's not what he meant.

He meant an adult - someone I would call a woman.

Yet, in the everyday vernacular if you have breasts, or will have breasts one day, you are often simply a girl.

When I first moved here, I would get on my high horse and get huffy about it because I thought it was totally sexist. And yes, there is an undercurrent of sexism to it, but it's also a simple every day usage of language that many don't question.

Even women refer to themselves as girls.

Yesterday, I was speaking with a colleague, and she mentioned that her daughter was in class and her teacher kept referring to "African Americans" in pictures she was showing, but to this young girl she saw Black people.

She came home to her mom (my colleague) asking about it and wondering if she should be offended.

"Am I Black or am I African American?" she asked.

My situation and my colleague's daughter are not the same, but they highlight how much identity matters and that when the way we see ourselves, doesn't match the way others see us, it can be challenging.

As a facilitator, it's important for me to be aware of how I relate to others and be aware of any assumptions that I may make about how they identify.

I am constantly facing up to my biases, and unlearning habitual language patterns, in order to be sure that the spaces that I hold for others are safe, even while still be uncomfortable.

Has anyone labeled you or identified you in a way that you didn't like, or that didn't fit?

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments.

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