Authority, Power, And Respect

Yesterday evening, I banned my daughter from screen time today.

When she went to bed last night, she gave me the pleading eyes and the prayer hands.

I said, "Let's talk about it tomorrow."

This morning, she crawled into bed with me, and said, "Can we talk about it now?"

What ensued was a conversation around what it means to have authority and power, and how one can respect that authority and power, even when you disagree.

When I defined authority, I said, "Someone in authority is often someone who can make decisions that affect your life."

I asked her to give me examples.

Her first response was, "Donald Trump." 🤣

She was right. Despite the fact that I no longer live in the US, he still has some authority over my life.

We talked about other people with authority and power over us -- police officers, politicians, teachers, and, yes, parents.

Then we talked about how to respectfully disagree.

This is a hard one, as respect is so nuanced, and can shift depending on the context and the culture.

I don't want my children to blindly follow what I want like step-children.
I want them to have a voice, and to call out injustices.

But I also don't want to be treated like a dog, or a vending machine who is just there to give them what they want.

If they disagree, I want them to do so in a calm, constructive manner.

For my 11-year-old, that's still so far away.

She hasn't yet learned how to use her anger for good.

In our first session with the book Defy with the folks at Banque Triodos, we started exploring this idea of compliance and defiance.

It's hard for my 11 year, and it may be even harder for us adults.

We ended today's session with this quote from Glennon Doyle:

"Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cage...Make yourself fit. You'll be uncomfortable at first, but don't worry -- eventually you'll forget you're caged. Soon this will just feel like : life."

​I definitely hope that my children don't feel like they've been put in a cage.

Do you ever feel that way?

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Hello there 👋 I'm Theresa Destrebecq.
I am a passionate learner and leader who loves books, so I started a company that brings book-learning to companies to make it more social and transformational. PM me if you want to chat.

Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments

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