As I got into the car with the other group of climbers, one of the men turned to me and said, "Where is Olivier? Is he punished?" (Olivier being my husband, and also an avid climber.) I laughed in discomfort and said, "No, he's not punished. He's home with our daughter." Once we arrived at the crag, another member of our club said almost the same thing, "Is Olivier home being punished?" This time I didn't laugh it off. I said, "When Olivier joined you last month, did you ask him the same question - if I was home punished?" This time they laughed in discomfort (both men were there). I then went on and asked, "Why is it that when a mom stays home with a child it's normal, but when a dad stays home he's being punished?" No response. I don't know if my words made any difference, but I feel proud that I said what I said. Unconscious bias runs deep, and it's only when we are aware of it that we can speak and act differently. How would you have responded in this situation? P.S. This is the view from where we were climbing. Originally posted on LinkedIn with comments. Read Deeper Not Faster
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Hi there!I am Theresa Destrebecq. |